Dressed to the...threes?

I do not like attention. I don't like people looking at me, making a fuss over me or, God forbid, complimenting me. I get extremely uncomfortable if I'm the "guest of honor" anywhere. I would much rather be the one behind the scenes, making things happen. I'm a worker bee I guess. And of course my mother is the queen bee. She has required so much attention that all of my life I deflected any attention that might have been directed my way lest she become angry that one of the bulbs in her spotlight had dimmed a bit. Because of this I dress very plainly, wear minimal makeup and my hair is always pulled back in a ponytail unless I'm sleeping. If I get a haircut or color my hair, I don't want people to notice or comment on it. I have found myself wanting to cut my hair short recently but I'm hesitant because it would be a big change and someone might notice. I feel like a fraud when I style my hair, put on more noticeable makeup or wear stylish clothes. In a sick way, dressing down has been a way to rebel against my mother's insistence that everyone she "owns" look perfect. It makes her angry when I look "like a slob" and she does not hesitate to say so. Now that I know about her npd, I am trying to discover who I am as a person. I'm trying to get up the nerve to get my hair cut in a more flattering style. It will always grow back right?