I want a mommy

I'm sick. Very sick. I have pneumonia and I feel awful. I get violent coughing spells and my head is pounding. I really want someone to take care of me and baby me. I'd love to curl up in my bed and sleep so my body will heal faster. I'd love for someone to stroke my hair and make me some soup and tell me to rest and not worry about anything until I'm feeling better. I want a mommy. Unfortunately none of this is going to happen and instead I must soldier on. My husband takes pretty good care of me when I'm sick but he's traveling for work. I posted on FB that I had pneumonia and my mother offered to watch John so I could rest. Nice gesture, right? It would be if it were genuine. She said it to impress my friends and had no intention of following through. How do I know this? Whenever I was sick as a child, she would get annoyed with me. No soup, no comfort; I was told to go to my room and stay there until I was better. But I was expected to wait on her when she had a headache. When she had a headache the world had to stop. She would lock herself in her room and we were forbidden to make any noise at all.  Of course as the dutiful daughter I catered to her; I brought her cold compresses every hour and brought her saltines and ginger ale and rubbed her head. To this day when someone is sick I make them soup and make a fuss over them. One positive aspect of having a mother with npd is that it has made me a very nurturing person. She also said that my Dad is already on an antibiotic so at least he will be "safe" around John. The first thing she thinks of when anyone is sick is herself and that she doesn't want to catch it because she will surely be sicker than they were. All of this plus after the last "incident", I really don't want him around her unless I'm there. There is no telling what kinds of things she would tell him and he's at a very impressionable age. And if she really was sincere, how come she didn't call or email me at all today to see if I'm ok? I'm just feeling sorry for myself today because I'm so sick and wishing I had a mommy to take care of me.